The Hunt- Day Two

This past Sunday, I went back to the hunting ground. The Bait was not there, so I spent my time observing. There was more possible prey than last week. Several appeared to carry the physical attributes that make them desirable prey. At this time I have not had the opportunity to interact with them in order to determine if they are suitable. I attempted to use the advice stratagem of “don’t make the first move”. This succeeded in having a church staff member offer to help get me “plugged in”, and some fellow hunters ask me to sit with them.

These hunters used some interesting tactics. There was the physical preening (think of a male peacock spreading his beautiful feathers to attract a mate). They had noticeably spent much time and effort on their physical appearance. They also used traditional Christian mating calls such as “Amen!” and “Praise the Lord” when something was said emphatically in the sermon. I may borrow some of their strategies.

Day One- The Hunt Begins

I enter the hunting ground nervous, but excited. As I have not yet learned the migrating patterns of the prey in this area, this day is more about observation and education. My weapons of choice are an obviously empty left ring finger, and a large Bible to rest my left hand on.

I enter the room, choose a seat in the back, and scope out the landscape. The room is quickly filling with people. Directly in front of me sits down a friend that I didn't know would be there. I explain to her what I am doing, and it quickly becomes clear to me that she knows the hunting ground and prey well. In normal situations she would be called my “wing-man”. For this she will be referred to as “the bait”. The bait has set herself the task of pointing out possible prey. She will be a very valuable asset/weapon for this task.

It seems that there is much potential for hunting, but I believe that I will know better when I have more exposure to this hunting environment. On this Sunday I had to leave early for work, so I didn't get full exposure to the environment. I am excited to see what the future will bring, but I am a very tentative hunter. Hopefully with time I will have the courage to leave the blind and wander among the prey.

I have had a plan for my future since I was four years old. First I wanted to be a mom and a pure-bred Persian cat breeder. Then I wanted to be a mom and a lawyer. After that I wanted to be a mom and an archaeologist. Do you see the pattern here?

                When I reached high school I found out that in order to be a mom I would need to do that thing that gets kids... so my new plan was to be a wife and mom. Looking at examples around me (tv... my parents...) I decided that the most common way to achieve my plan was to meet my high school sweetheart, get married just after high school, and have babies. So in grade 11 I got a boyfriend. My plan was working perfectly! And then a month after I graduated from high school, my boyfriend broke up with me.

                After much ice cream and tears, I had to make a new plan. I thought “where else can a good Christian girl find a husband?” And then it hit me: Bible College! Of course! I shall go to Bible College (otherwise known as “Bridal College”), find a guy who is studying to become a youth pastor because they are all awesome, and get a “ring by spring”. I never really liked school, but I figured 8 months of Bridal College, and I’ll be back on track! First year came and went... nothing. I decided to keep going to school. It was bound work at some point; it seemed to be working well for everyone else. After five years of going to school, I graduated with a BA in youth work and a diploma in counselling... but I left with no husband and no plan.

                It’s been three years since I’ve graduated college, and while I haven’t had a plan or found a husband, I have received a lot of advice on how to get one. A LOT of advice. While I know most people give advice out of love, every time someone who was married at 19 years old tries to tell me how to attract a 30 year old man, I kind of want to slap them a little. Instead of resorting to physical violence, I have decided to take a different approach. I am going to take all of that ‘advice’, and try it. Since everyone seems to know exactly how to find a spouse, it must be because their strategies work, right?

                So, here’s my new plan. If you aren’t looking for a spouse, people say that you’ve “given up”, and if you are actively searching people say you’re “on the hunt/prowl”.  Well, I haven’t given up, so instead I’m going to hunt… I’m going to have a Husband Hunt! I am going to take all of the advice I’ve been given over the years and use it. These will be my new hunting strategies. Thanks to a strange work schedule that limits my time and available hunting grounds, I’ve decided that the best place to start is to go back to church.